Once Upon a Time....

 I used to keep a journal. For years, I kept a journal. I still have them, boxes of them and I wish I'd never stopped. A whole lot has happened to me and years went by undocumented. It's because I caught someone (an ex) reading them. He had been at it for hours while I was away. Our relationship was ending and I guess he was trying to understand it. I couldn't understand why he stooped so low as to affirm my decision to part company. He kind of proved my point. But he robbed me, too. I was crushed by that invasion. It felt like rape. When I asked him if he learned anything from reading my innermost thoughts, he stated that he learned I had never lied to him.


I began blogging in April of this year, after reading others blogs online. I have favorites I check in on routinely, and I could spend a whole day perusing new ones.


I find them so interesting, some are funny, while others are sad, documenting illnesses or transitions. Some have scads of followers, others don't list theirs. The cool thing about a writing a blog is that it isn't meant to be private, like a journal. But that's exactly the same reason it isn't so cool. You have to edit yourself for that very reason. I, of course, have no filter, so I try to keep my observations general, names changed to protect the not so innocent.


When I began, it was rewarding. I get emails sometimes from readers. That's nice. Sometimes, people comment after a column, not often,but it's appreciated. The thing is, when I began I had so many subjects to cover, so many ideas. I was resolute in not wanting to come off as whiner, ala Andy Rooney, who made quite a nice career for himself, complaining like the curmudgeon he'd become.


But now, I'll start to write and realize I've already covered the topic at hand. Or I'm just writing to sound off about some real or imagined slight, or some hot topic that would piss people off. I can do that everyday on my Facebook page. And I do. I can't believe any of my republican friends still keep me as their 'friend.'  (Actually, I can't believe I have any friends at all, who are republican!)



The point is, I've tapered way off since the beginning. I've gone from three times a week, to a couple, to maybe twice a month. I still enjoy it, I do not find it theraputic and I get disappointed in myself during my dry spells. Luckily, there's a whole cyberworld out there and this isn't an assignment. I can, and do make entries whenever I have the time and/or the inclination. Hopefully, with the changes of the seasons I'll be inspired. It keeps me busy, this blogging, and out of the bars, so to speak.



I'm glad I don't have to make a living at it, I think I'd be really hungry, because "Easy reading is damn hard writing." 


(Nathaniel Hawthorne)