Loose Lips Sink Ships

Trust no one. Especially me.


I am a keeper of secrets. This is definitely not where my talents lie. I warn people not to tell me things. I can't take the pressure. I know that I am more successful as I get older, but how much longer can I be expected to keep mum ? I know stuff I don't even want to know.


In my world, if I have something even mildly interesting, I've gotta share it. As long as it's about me. When it's not about me, I try to wait patiently until the all clear has been given, or I hear the same scoop I'm guarding from someone else's lips.I have secrets with people myself, where I've confided in someone, after warning them to "keep it in the vault!"  As far as I know, I choose wisely. Nothing has come back to bite me the ass (yet.)


This past week I was a counter-spy, working for my daughter and her husband regarding their fifth anniversary. I was on the phone and at the mall, arranging surprises for each of them, unbeknownst to the other. Fortunatly, I pulled it off. I babysat while they went out to celebrate and was greatly relieved when they returned, giddy with their success in subterfuge. They were giddy, I was exhausted !


As stated earlier, if it's about me, I'm going to spread the word. I never learn. Discretion is the better part of valor, but valiant, I'm not. I once greatly distressed my employer when I told someone in confidence that I had gotten an offer I couldn't refuse. Imagine my chagrin when, after submitting my resignation, and having it declined, he returned to me to say how floored he was that he was the last to find out. At least I had the grace to blush, it was the least I could do, I felt horrible. Still, he counter offered, and one of my biggest regrets, career wise, was not taking it. But that's a whole nutha topic.


The older I get, the better I've become, but rather than taking pride in that, I have to admit that I'm still not all that noble, I'm just forgetful. So, confide in me if you must, but never tell me not to tell. I'll make a mental note, but  I've got a mind like a sieve, so don't hold me to it.

This column is my disclaimer, and with any luck, I'll remember I wrote it.