Wish I'd Thought of it ~

The new September issue of AARP Bulletin has a fun piece on “dos & don’ts” for people once they turn 50.

I have taken the liberty of tweaking it to fit my needs and some  of the people around me.

Words To Stop Saying:

Panties

Smashed, wasted, or hammered.

Sick!

Whatever

I’m like, he's like, they're like.

Hot. Except when referring to the weather or habaneros.

Kick it
Chill
Chillax


Things To Never Do Again:

Jell-O shots
ANY shots

Karaoke after Jell-O shots or any other time.


Visible tats, no matter what (or who) you escaped, no matter who or what you discovered.

Collecting owls made of shells, frogs made of ceramic or lawn gnomes made of anything.
Smoking. (anything)



What Not To Wear:

Miniskirts, short shorts, anything that’s been deliberately diminished or ripped.

Low-rise pants that showcase low-rise anatomy.

Super-tight skinny jeans, even if you are both.

T-shirts that say “Sexy Grandma,” “Vote for Ozzy” or “I Am the Man from Nantucket.”

Purses with dogs on them. Purses with dogs in them.

Gold chains with your name on them. Gold chains. Chains.
Men should not wear jewelry, except for a watch and/or wedding ring. Gentlemen, less is more.
Ladies, you only need one hole per ear. That ship has sailed.
Any trend that's being repeated. If you wore it then, you sure as hell can't wear it now.



People To No Longer Tolerate.

Those who don’t know you when you’re down and out but just love you when you’re “back.”

People who learned all they ever needed to know in high school—and are still living it.

Gossips

Arrogant doctors, nurses, educators, waiters, legislators,sales associates or anyone who lets a little influence go to their head. They're everywhere and they're drunk with power.

Space invaders. Those who stand too close, consuming space, energy, oxygen and time.



Things To Do At Least Once:

 

 Create a bucket list. Be reasonable.

 Tell the truth, all the time, every day.

 Stand up for what you believe, and do so with dignity.

 Dance outside at night in a foreign land.

 Be able to retire but say, the hell with it, I’m going strong!
 Rediscover something you loved as a kid. A food, a book or an       
 activity. Enjoy.

 Last, but not Least:

WAG MORE, BARK LESS