With friends like those......

There are all kinds of sayings about friends, but the one that's sticking in my head lately is the one about friends who come and go, are in your life for a reason or a season.  I've written about my friends before, about being so fortunate to have so many for so long.


But, you never hear about the ones that got away. The ones you never forget, or in my case, think of frequently. The ones you can't reconnect with, no matter how hard you try. I've got two of those and I miss them both.


The one I've known the longest has, seemingly, dropped off the face of the earth. Even with social networking and several of us trying, we cannot locate this terrific part of our then circle. Naturally, we fear the worst, but hope for the best.


The one I've known the best, the one I've been closer to than anyone else, ever, is gone for good. And I only mean that figuratively. She still walks among us, she just walked away from me, and I know not why.



We never had an argument, never discussed anything that might have gone wrong. We never dreamt we would ever be apart. But, for some reason and in some way, I offended her. Not only did she not confront me, she just left. We went from (at least) four phone calls a day and being together after work (almost every day for twelve years,) to nothing. That was eight years ago. I tried, believe me, I tried, to resolve whatever it was that went wrong. But calls went unanswered. It's as though I never existed.


The thing is, I am not one to hold a grudge, (they're so heavy)  so this kind of treatment is inexplicable to me. I've moved on, I have, but every now and then, very late at night, or stuck in traffic, my pal randomly jumps into my mind and I wonder what happened.


It kills me to think I ever wounded anyone so deeply that they cannot forgive me or worse, consider me dead. I'm on good terms with my exes fercrissake !



Interestingly, years ago, she told me that I let too many people back into my life. I might mention a phone call out of the blue from someone in my past and how tickled I was by it. Oh, the irony ! Now,I would love to let her back into my life, but have exhausted my efforts.



Until I die, I will always wonder what happened between me and my BFF but...

"Love is blind

Friendship tries not to notice"

(I'm glad I am so loved)