Love Hurts

I'll never understand it. I guess I never had it. Oh, I thought I did, too many times, but I was always wrong, sadly mistaken. My relationships always ended by me, there was never any "til death do us part" in my experience.


Which is fine! I was never devastated by these romances, always relieved in the end. Invariably, there were messes to be cleaned up and handled, Drama, to be sure,tears to be shed, but fortunately (for me) I walked away unscathed, for the most part. At least I recovered, pretty quickly, each time.


So now I'm at a point in my life, and have been for years, where I've become too set in my ways to ever compromise with anyone. I'm used to my solitude,I prefer it. I've come to realize I'd rather be alone than wish I were. It's all good.


In my experience, it turned out to be permanent children and temporary marriages.  (a phrase I borrowed from a close friend who was referring to me.) and while I may have been sidetracked while seeking validation, my kids always came first. Sometimes, they were the deal breaker. They were always worth it. The point is, you have to love yourself first. Until you do,you are seeking validation from others. Until you do, you will never reach fulfillment.


Right now, I'm reliving my experiences through a friend who has not yet realized that her priorities are screwed up. Someone, at some point, damaged her so much that she thinks she needs someone to validate her. She can't see that her children do. She's caught up in the day to day annoyances of homework and schedules and bullshit that drive us all nuts at times. She's not looking into those big brown eyes who adore her so much and look to her for everything from safety and meals to fun. Even the dog is a pain in the ass.

I have memorized, and can recite more platitudes than you knew existed, but I'll spare you (you're welcome)

When she sees it for herself, she will be happier than she ever dreamed she could be. I am, platitudes be damned. It was life's experiences that got me here.

"Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be."  How's that for a platitude?

I am growing older and I cherish every moment. I never dreamt it could be so perfect. I'm happier than I ever could imagine.

I get it, God, and it was worth waiting for ~