BEHOLD!

Think of the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you.

I can top it.

This didn't happen to me, (Thank You, God!)  it happened to somone I knew a long time ago. This person is pretty well known around here. She shall be nameless, for obvious reasons. Knowing me as she does, she wouldn't blame me for putting this out there, especially given her anonominity. It is one of the best stories I've ever heard and it goes like this:

We recovering catholics have a lot from which to recover. This particular anecdote took place back in the sixties, probably well before the ecumenical council took place. I point that out because since then a few changes have been made in the church. A few, not enough. But that's a whole 'nutha' blog.

At that time, it was required that females did not enter the house of the Lord without a head covering. Girls traditionally wore what was known as a chapel veil. It was a pretty, lacy,frothy, little white thing about the size of a yamulka. When you were older you would probably wear a black mantilla, but that was almost a rite of passage. We weren't that sophisticated yet. No matter what, your head must be covered and in a pinch, even a kleenex bobby-pinned in place would do.

My friend was the oldest of eight. (Oh, those catholics) One Sunday morning, she was instructed to get ready for church and make sure the others were present and accounted for. She did as she was told, grabbed her missal and chapel veil and off they went.

Depending on who's celebrating it, the mass can last about an hour. About forty-five minutes into it, my friend was tapped on the shoulder by the lady sitting behind her. This thoughtful woman whispered in her ear: "Dear, there's something tangled in your chapel veil." My friend made that frantic, grabby little move, to no avail. Her benefactress offered her help, leaned in and untangled....



a sanitary belt.



It had been sitting there, in that top drawer, all clean and ready to use,  snagged in the lace that made up the sacred head covering. In her haste, her scrambling to get everyone organized and ready to go, she who shall be nameless was unaware of what she was wearing so proudly as she prayed, sang, listened to the sermon and received communion.

She was so mortified she refused to return to that particular church for many years, until she was sure any witnesses must be dead. She never lost her faith, she only lost her nerve.


Hats off to all of us who have been caught in the act of being ourselves.


Onward, Christian soldiers.